Whitepaper peer review

UPCOMING ICOs
#1

Hi all, we’re close to ready with the draft of our white paper.
Anyone interested in giving me a peer review? Not looking for applause, but real feedback.
Have tokens - will share :wink:

—Update----
Hello all, here’s the link to the draft white paper. Please feel free to comment, post questions and give feedback.

disclaimer: this white paper is subject to change and is a draft document only so please don’t consider this the final published document. It’s just a draft opened for comment and review.
Draft White Paper

Now Hit Me :slight_smile:

3 Likes
#2

Interesting, post it here and we’ll take a look! What’s the name of your project?

1 Like
#3

Hi Ivan, will do, putting the final touches to it. Cashbag.co - we’re an online cash back rewards aggregator, integrated to online merchants.

We intend to create a more seamless experience for our members, harmonizing currencies and use blockchain to cut down on the cost and time of accruing transactions and clearing funds to our member accounts.

Lots of other reasons in the business case, will post it all up.

1 Like
#4

Let us know how we can download the paper when it’s available. Thanks

3 Likes
#5

We’re working out some final issues, so it’s far from well formatted and designed. I’ll get it up and post the link. :wink:

1 Like
#6

Happy to take a look and give feedback when you have the paper up :slight_smile:

1 Like
#7

Hello all, here’s the link to the draft white paper. Please feel free to comment, post questions and give feedback.

disclaimer: this white paper is subject to change and is a draft document only so please don’t consider this the final published document. It’s just a draft opened for comment and review.
Draft White Paper

Now Hit Me :slight_smile:

3 Likes
#8

Just got through most of it. IMO good attempt at a white paper, better than ~50% of the white papers out there already. lol.

Now, I’m looking at this from my own perspective and asking myself the question if I would be compelled to invest in the ICO. Right now, the answer is no. Here is why:

  • While the whitepaper is fairly lengthy, it spends quite a bit talking about why (in essence) cryptocurrency is good. Things like store of value, transfer of value, border-less-ness are all things that are native and expected of crypto. Worth a mention, but I don’t see that as being anything special.
  • Your ICO seems to want to do quite a lot of things at once. You have an incentive scheme, wallet, card, trading, sending and receiving money, conversion of fiat all at the same time. This is promising too much IMO and unless you can truly answer how you are going to achieve this. I don’t find it that believable.
  • You have very lofty goals and usage numbers, but your roadmap doesn’t back that. I personally am not able to wrap my head around how you can get from where you are at (188 advertisers / 87k users) to where you want to be (2500 advertisers/10million).
  • Given that you are not going to operate fully as some kind of DAO, the paper also doesn’t really point to a long term sustainable business model. Your expected advertiser to user ratio is going to 10x if you hit your goals. But as a reader I don’t have a sense of how any of that is sustainable.
  • It doesn’t seem clear what reward is going to come to a token holder. There is mention of a buy back, so there should be a discussion of the mechanics.But overall I think there needs to be a stronger incentive for token holders.
  • Your roadmap is super aggressive. Not sure if its a good thing. There are ICOs out there that want to do 2 of the things you want to do and have a roadmap of 2 years or something to that effect. It seems to gloss over important details like “international expansion”.

I want to throw in a questions that I always think about when I read these things… Why does it have to be on a distributed ledger? Is it really going to solve some problem for your business that a centralized piece of technology cannot? Is there some kind of mistrust happening somewhere that needs blockchain? To be honest, when I first saw your site from your previous post, I thought your paper would be centered around the merchant integration so that there is an immutable ledger where the merchant can vet past transaction (or something to that effect).

I hope you don’t take misunderstand me, my goal is just to give you constructive input :slight_smile:

5 Likes
#9

Thanks for your feedback Rigario. Appreciate it and just what I was looking for :wink:

Too much Info: Good point, we’ll look at trimming it. We assumed that as the whitepapers are an academic type article we should at least put some context, but your point is fair.

Too much to do: It is a super aggressive timeline, you’re right. We’ll add more content on our timelines / deliverables / action plans - but it’s a balance as we don’t want to add too much info to the doc. we’re further along the path than what our timeline suggests, but I agree.

Goals: Same as above, good point we will elaborate on this.

you’re right when you say we’re tying to solve multiple problems at the same time. We thought of trimming the offering down to only focus on the Advertiser to Member payment, where a distributed ledger and smart contracts are a perfect solution to reducing cost and increasing settlement frequency - but without the members having access to their funds we are limited in our growth scope.

Most of the member profile we’re attracting are general consumers. To them cryptocurrency is something they’ve heard of, but they’re not technical. We’re trying to give them an avenue to enter the market without requiring a deeper understanding of the market, wallets, exchanges etc.

Having said that, it may be simpler to enable redemption to external wallets.

As for the pricing, with a finite supply of tokens in the market, and because of our policy of buying back tokens to issue to our members as rewards, our models show this will drive up demand for the token and increase pricing over time. It is however not adequately explained, so we’ll spend more time expanding on the model.

thanks again for your feedback, it’s appreciated. any other comments would be welcomed.

1 Like
#10

No worries at all, I am actually genuinely interested in reading white papers in general. Happy to read more if anyone else has one :stuck_out_tongue: I’m also happy to go through it again once you have edited it and give another round of input if you’d like.

Anyway, I believe I truly understand where your mind is at and honestly see that in quite a few of the “genuine” white papers. I say genuine with inverted commas because it just refers to where the team’s heart is at, not necessarily the product itself. I can see that many times, the reason for offering so much is because they want to being crypto to the masses. In that sense, I get why the projects are ambitious. But I personally also do think that the lack of focus can hurt the true business.

If you are trying to make a business viable on crypto, make a business viable on crypto. That is already a hard enough job. If you are trying to bring crypto to the masses (Ten X, OmiseGO etc.) then do that. Doing both is going to be extremely hard. Lay out a roadmap where you have business viability doing 1 of the 2 first, then another part of the roadmap to tackle the remaining. That’s my 2 cents :stuck_out_tongue:

2 Likes